Regnat Populus

The people rule.

Bill Maher & Garofalo: Match.com Called – You Were Meant To Be.

Posted by Max Barron on April 24, 2009

Detestable human being.

Detestable human being.

The LATimes ran an opinion piece from Bill Maher, the host of HBO’s Real Time With Bill Maher.  As anyone who has ever seen Bill Maher’s show or seen him in an interview would expect… it was filled with invective.  Humorless invective at that.  Much like Garofalo, Maher is characterized as a comedian and entertainer.  Yet, much like Garofalo, Maher couldn’t even make his vile race baiting and class warfare filled diatribe even the least bit funny.  It’s almost as if he saw all of the attention, negative attention as it were, that Janeane got for her tripe, and decided that he would join in.  After all, ratings are in the tank and he needs a boost, right?

Well, Mr. Maher, I sincerely hope that you enjoy being the butt of the joke… If you want to know what that’s like, just ask Chris “the tingle” Matthews.  And by butt of the joke, I mean the little dark hole in the center… you know, the one that spews feces?  That’s you, Maher.

Of course, Mr. Maher, you have to know that I’m going to respond.  But unlike Matthews, the only tingle that you’ll be feeling is the splash-back while I piss in your Cheerios.

If conservatives don’t want to be seen as bitter people who cling to their guns and religion and anti-immigrant sentiments, they should stop being bitter and clinging to their guns, religion and anti-immigrant sentiments.

First and foremost this country was founded and preserved by men who clung to religion and guns.  What’s wrong with that?  Why are you anti-Christian?  Why do you hate guns, or more importantly, gun owners?  One of the greatest aspects of this country is the fact that we can practice whatever religion we want.  We also have the right to bear arms.  If you don’t like religion, fine.. be an atheist.  If you don’t like guns, don’t own one.  Outside of that, sir, feel free to keep your condescending ignorance out of everyone else’s lives.

As for anti-immigrant sentiments… It is painfully clear that you’re just another blowhard touting the liberal propaganda meme.  Conservatives support immigration.  We have no problem with immigrants.  We have a serious problem with ILLEGAL immigrants.  Please note the capitalized word – illegal.  It means against the law.  We want our laws and borders upheld.  They are there for reason.  There is no quarrel with people coming here legally.  Unless, of course, you count our wanting said LEGAL immigrants to conform to OUR society and not the other way around.  Like NOT flying the American flag upside down under the Mexican flag, at an American school where we teach them in their native language, not ours.

It’s been a week now, and I still don’t know what those “tea bag” protests were about. I saw signs protesting abortion, illegal immigrants, the bank bailout and that gay guy who’s going to win “American Idol.” But it wasn’t tax day that made them crazy; it was election day. Because that’s when Republicans became what they fear most: a minority.

If you don’t know what the Tea Party protests were about, then you are just plain ignorant, and willfully so.  I won’t bother to explain in detail what the protests were for… if you can’t figure out Google, then perhaps you should do the world a favor and refrain from procreating.  The last thing this world needs is more ignorant race-baiters.  Which is precisely what you are, as proven by your own words.  If we’re to believe you, then every Conservative is a racist that fears minorities…  Do you and Janeane Garofalo get together on the weekends and go bowling or something?  Sure seems like a page out of her book.

Get your own lines, Bill, that one’s used up and tired.  Moron.

The conservative base is absolutely apoplectic because, because … well, nobody knows. They’re mad as hell, and they’re not going to take it anymore. Even though they’re not quite sure what “it” is. But they know they’re fed up with “it,” and that “it” has got to stop.

We’re angry for a lot of reasons.  Chiefly, the D.C. spending spree and ridiculous economic policies being rammed down our throat.  Everything from the TARP, TARP II, Recovery Act and proposed budget… The trillions of dollars that we are borrowing from China, Saudi Arabia, etc to pay for them.  Not to mention the trillions in interest we’ll be paying on those loans.  Of course, that was all in the name of the economy… that’s still tanking.  Just like we said it would.  By the way, where DID all of that money go, anyway?  No idea?  Exactly!  Not to mention the nationalization of banks and industry.

Essentially the problem is the stripping of my children and grand-children’s future earnings, and the stripping of American liberties.  You’re damned right we’re angry.  You should be too.

Here are the big issues for normal people: the war, the economy, the environment, mending fences with our enemies and allies, and the rule of law.

Well, you got one thing right.  Those are the issues.  Those are the things that we’re upset about.  You’re just too drunk on the Kool-Aide to realize that we’re preaching the solutions to those problems; and the current administration is making them worse.  The irony here is that you mention rule of law.  Considering your aforementioned stance on ILLEGAL immigration.  By the way, if you still think that that our current enemies in the middle east are interested in “mending fences,” then you are even more willfully ignorant than I thought.

And here’s the list of Republican obsessions since President Obama took office: that his birth certificate is supposedly fake, he uses a teleprompter too much, he bowed to a Saudi guy, Europeans like him, he gives inappropriate gifts, his wife shamelessly flaunts her upper arms, and he shook hands with Hugo Chavez and slipped him the nuclear launch codes.

I believe that the birth certificate issue was raised, and pressed, by a Democrat lawyer by the name of Phillip Berg.  I also haven’t seen a Conservative blog, write or even talk about it since before November 4th.  Just another case of not knowing how to Google, eh, Bill?  We also don’t say that he uses a teleprompter too much… it isn’t an issue.  It’s a joke, Bill.  You haven’t told a good one in a long time, but you should still remember what they are.  Personally, and I’m sure that everyone else is with me here, I couldn’t care any less about Michelle Obama’s upper arms.  I believe that it was the main stream media drooling all over them.  Just ask the idiots at MSNBC, their janitors are still mopping up the slobber.

As for the foreign heads of state gaffes.  Guilty as charged.  I cannot fathom why anyone would NOT have a problem with the President bowing to the KING of Saudi Arabia.  It wasn’t some “Saudi guy.”  It was a monarch.  U.S. policy dictates that no American, especially the President, ever bow to a Monarch.  Bowing shows subjugation.  So, yes, I have a problem with that.  Naturally, I have a problem with Obama getting nice and cozy with a tin pot dictator that is vehemently anti-America.  Chavez funds narco-terrorists, denounces our country, and allies himself with the likes of Ahmadinejad.  Who, by the way, also funds and supports terrorists and denounces the U.S.  I also have a problem with Obama cow-towing and apologizing to their ilk, especially when we have NOTHING to apologize for.  If you, Bill, were anything other than a Kool-Aide drinking oligarch… you would have a problem with it too.

It’s sad what’s happened to the Republicans. They used to be the party of the big tent; now they’re the party of the sideshow attraction, a socially awkward group of mostly white people who speak a language only they understand. Like Trekkies, but paranoid

It is sad what happened to Republicans.  It is sad that they left their principles at the door and started acting like Democrats.  That is very sad indeed… for this country.  Naturally you don’t get it, you think that our principles ARE the problem.  They’re not.

Then again, you also think that we’re just a bunch of paranoid angry white people.  It is also only natural that you do not understand the language of principle… the language of our founding fathers.  You’re an oligarch, what do we expect, other than race-baiting — which you didn’t fail to deliver on either.

The governor of Texas, Rick Perry, is not afraid to say publicly that thinking out loud about Texas seceding from the Union is appropriate considering that … Obama wants to raise taxes 3% on 5% of the people? I’m not sure exactly what Perry’s independent nation would look like, but I’m pretty sure it would be free of taxes and Planned Parenthood. And I would have to totally rethink my position on a border fence.

You say “Obama wants to raise taxes 3% on 5% of the people?” like it’s a good thing.  The top 5% already pay more than 60% of the income tax.  It is class warfare and socialistic redistribution of wealth.  It is the very opposite of what our founding fathers envisioned and protected with the Constitution.  You do know what the Constitution is, right?  It’s that paper that you and your ilk like to wipe your asses with…

If you ask me a republic without income taxes and Planned Parenthood sounds great!  I know that’s where I would like this country to be.  Wait!  Isn’t that how the founding fathers, in their infinite wisdom, constructed this republic?

But Obama hasn’t made any moves toward taking anyone’s guns, and with money as tight as it is, the last thing the president wants to do is run a camp where he has to shelter and feed a bunch of fat, angry white people.

He may not have made any moves to take our guns, but given his stance on firearm regulation, and the stance of his Attorney General, I won’t be surprised at all if he does.  Since money is so tight, and Obama is so worried about it, then why is he pushing forward with socialized health care?  Which, if Europe and the UK are any kind of indicators, will run up a tab far greater than all other social and military programs combined.  The fact of the matter is, he isn’t worried about money at all… He can just get it from the rich, right?  He also doesn’t want to just “shelter and feed a bunch of fat, angry white people,” he wants to shelter and feed the entire nation.  Naturally, from your standpoint conservatives are just fat, angry white people… I’m beginning to think that Garofalo should sue you for plagiarism.

But it’s been almost 100 days, and your country is not coming back to you. She’s found somebody new. And it’s a black guy.

I’m glad that your white-liberal-guilt can finally be satiated knowing that we have a black president.  I got passed the historical nature of it after he was sworn in.  Right now, it is about what the President does in office.  Frankly, I couldn’t care less what color he is.  In fact, I don’t know of a single Conservative that does.  The ONLY people that I see harping on race is… well, the Left.  More specifically you and your soul mate.

The healthy thing to do is to just get past it and learn to cherish the memories. You’ll always have New Orleans and Abu Ghraib.

Wow, just wow!  So, now, somehow Conservatives caused the hurricane in New Orleans. Ohhh wait, I get it.  We hate black people, right?  Funny, isn’t it, how easily vile invective and racism drips from your tongue.  Of course, to believe you we would have to overlook the fact that at that time the Mayor of New Orleans was Ray Nagin, a Democrat.  And the Governor during Katrina and the fiasco that followed was Kathleen Blanco, also a Democrat.  We would also have to forget that even though ordered to evacuate, many people CHOSE to stay behind… Some due to transportation issues.  That too is the fault of Conservatives right?  Whoops! I forgot that there were lots filled with buses but Nagin and Blanco refused to get them on the street to bus people out.  I guess that’s Bush’s fault, right?  Do you even bother to research anything before you spout off at the mouth?

Abu Ghraib was also Bush’s fault right?  Let’s forget about the small fraction of Army soldiers that committed those acts.  Let’s also forget that when the Republicans in Congress and White House found out about it, those few were immediately placed under arrest, charged and many were consequently found guilty and punished.

I wouldn’t expect you to remember that, after all, you can’t use Google.  That’s probably a Conservative’s fault as well, right?

Mr. Maher, in short I find you a detestable, vile, ignorant, racist oligarch with the mental acuity of a jackass – which is rightfully your party’s symbol and precisely what you are.  Your reprehensible remarks and distasteful bitterness make it easy to see why you are so inconsequential and why your ratings are about floor level.  You and Janeane are just perfect for each other… just… please don’t breed.  I’ll even send you condoms for life… just promise me that you’ll use them.

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2 Responses to “Bill Maher & Garofalo: Match.com Called – You Were Meant To Be.”

  1. Kendall said

    I love Maher! I think he was right on the money with this. Keep up the good work Bill!

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